JOUR/DAY Z.
1.“atone”
I‘ve never wanted to fight neither to lie –To lie certainly is not the cheapest fight-. I’ve compromised myself however yeash ‘of my own free will’. So tainted am I. I’ve compromised until it’s become unbearable to breathe. No breath, no fight. I couldn’t fight no more. So I’ve hidden. They wouldn’t forget me long, always relegating me further down. I don’t know how long I can resist the treatment.
2.“trespassers will be prosecuted”
“Music is the only art that is dead on paper and alive in the air. The little black dots called notes are dead. One has to bring them to life”, said that Italian conductor the other day. Notes, letters and words: all the same. Languages are transgressions yet once in a while they allow respiration between those who speak depending on that both parts mean to say and wind. Whatever the channel the speech owe -spit show- but goes on.
I feel that I’m at school with that. At the lowest level. Before anything I’ve got to be taught how to breathe cause I have lost that ability supposed to be the most natural reflex of life. In the meanwhile I’m locked here in Gehenna the old cemetery of aborted souls, now a desertic land.One more definition of the Nephilim: dry souls working human resource like live-stock. I feel like I’m a culprit (cul-prit ‘took-ass’ in my tongue- Pritt is also a brand of glu) caught in my own trap even if only recently alive to –be doing- it, because I’ve been trained so much for such a ‘living’. Taught from the beginning that survey is under one main condition that is to fight, how could I imagine anything else. In that system each seat is taken by strength at great expense -whatever the seat whatever the path chosen- and the cost of survey as controls increase day by day. Those who transgress imperil their life. I want life and liberty but I wouldn’t accept a seat in such a world. No-way.
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